I'm waiting for President Trump to speak after it seems he has been re-elected, opening an entirely new chapter in observing the ties that bind and the broken ties that slam other doors shut. Since reading Bethel's excellent article, I've been thinking about the Family Ties show, the 80s, the disintegration of families and the tribalism of American culture these days. Since I was born the year WW2 ended, I've lived through things that this Family Ties piece doesn't mention but brought to mind because political analysis is only a piece of this estrangement puzzle. Immediately JFK, RFK, MLK, Kent State, Rodney King, Watts, Newark, and VIET NAM come to mind. National traumas. Nixon's resignation. Reagan was pivotal in offering something positive, something desperately needed. And Michael J Fox was adorable and rather irresistible. Throw in feminism and no fault divorce, the breakdown of the family and traditional values of marriage and it seems an unexpected consequence of the real progress achieved was that the culture came to believe that people/relationships are disposable. Broken family ties abound. I was on the board of an online private group for estranged families for over ten years. I have a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy and have experienced estrangement in my family. I have thought of this family ties thing for decades and have lowered expectations that the personal and political schisms will lessen. I believe there is something evil and powerful in our midst, a destructive dark spiritual force that few discuss. It will be interesting to observe and experience the political and personal convulsions resulting from today's election and hopefully encounter some emotional adults within the chaos. I dare to hope that a spiritual revival or renewal will revisit an America where healing will be possible for at least some of the broken relationships, friendships and family ties and realize how that sounds to many. As I said, I dare to hope.
Thank you so much for this valuable perspective! Coincidentally I'm working on some post-election analysis about hysterical election reactions from various damaged people and how this bespeaks the deeper crisis, as you say.
A friend in Oregon said last night that she is watching a dog for a friend who fled town for Hawaii for two weeks as she was certain that if Trump won her life would be in danger from the wacko MAGA crowd. And my women's Bible study this morning didn't even mention the election results! Certainly studying the metaphorical pictures of love in the Song of Solomon is more important than perhaps the biggest political upheaval in American history. I'm wondering if my silence was resignation to what is, a lack of courage or a slice of wisdom. And don't even get me started on damaged people!:)))
My friend in Oregon went to the dentist two days after the election and the dentist started conversation with how upset she was but when friend said she was happy w/the results, the dentist threw up her hands and walked out. Friend walked out as well, very proud of herself for standing up straight with her shoulders back, being precise in her speech and telling the truth. (Dr. Peterson's Rule #1).
Back in my college days at a progressive women’s school, I was sanguine about friendship across political divides and fought for that. (I was tepidly liberal at the time, but in the process of constantly playing devil’s advocate and then finally meeting principled conservatives my own age, I realized I was actually conservative.) This was in the early to mid-2000s.
Nowadays, it’s not at all that I don’t believe in or want those friendships, and but that they’re so difficult to maintain. Somehow in the past decade and a half, I stopped talking about my political beliefs, especially where they most directly touch my Christian and moral beliefs, even with fairly close family; and I don’t know how much of that is cowardice and how much is a deep weariness and pessimism that the friendship would survive conversations about how deep our differing presuppositions run. I find this is especially true with Christian friends and family who have gone the opposite way (i.e. stayed conservative into early adulthood and only later took a pronounced leftward turn). There’s still relationship, for sure, but a tacit recognition on both sides that we just don’t talk about the deeper things; that things could quickly become explosive if we tried. So how genuine a relationship can that even be? It’s an ongoing burden.
A great piece. I am re-watching Family Ties with my teenage son and he loves it. So many times I find myself commenting to him about "then versus now" US politics. The 2021 interview you linked was interesting in that it assumes that when Alex (ie anyone) makes a decision with their heart they will surely see things "my/our" way. The Miles Smith quote was also relevant. Obama surely hasn't contributed to the divide right? I mean if everyone just did it his way there would be no divide....simple.
I'm waiting for President Trump to speak after it seems he has been re-elected, opening an entirely new chapter in observing the ties that bind and the broken ties that slam other doors shut. Since reading Bethel's excellent article, I've been thinking about the Family Ties show, the 80s, the disintegration of families and the tribalism of American culture these days. Since I was born the year WW2 ended, I've lived through things that this Family Ties piece doesn't mention but brought to mind because political analysis is only a piece of this estrangement puzzle. Immediately JFK, RFK, MLK, Kent State, Rodney King, Watts, Newark, and VIET NAM come to mind. National traumas. Nixon's resignation. Reagan was pivotal in offering something positive, something desperately needed. And Michael J Fox was adorable and rather irresistible. Throw in feminism and no fault divorce, the breakdown of the family and traditional values of marriage and it seems an unexpected consequence of the real progress achieved was that the culture came to believe that people/relationships are disposable. Broken family ties abound. I was on the board of an online private group for estranged families for over ten years. I have a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy and have experienced estrangement in my family. I have thought of this family ties thing for decades and have lowered expectations that the personal and political schisms will lessen. I believe there is something evil and powerful in our midst, a destructive dark spiritual force that few discuss. It will be interesting to observe and experience the political and personal convulsions resulting from today's election and hopefully encounter some emotional adults within the chaos. I dare to hope that a spiritual revival or renewal will revisit an America where healing will be possible for at least some of the broken relationships, friendships and family ties and realize how that sounds to many. As I said, I dare to hope.
Thank you so much for this valuable perspective! Coincidentally I'm working on some post-election analysis about hysterical election reactions from various damaged people and how this bespeaks the deeper crisis, as you say.
A friend in Oregon said last night that she is watching a dog for a friend who fled town for Hawaii for two weeks as she was certain that if Trump won her life would be in danger from the wacko MAGA crowd. And my women's Bible study this morning didn't even mention the election results! Certainly studying the metaphorical pictures of love in the Song of Solomon is more important than perhaps the biggest political upheaval in American history. I'm wondering if my silence was resignation to what is, a lack of courage or a slice of wisdom. And don't even get me started on damaged people!:)))
My friend in Oregon went to the dentist two days after the election and the dentist started conversation with how upset she was but when friend said she was happy w/the results, the dentist threw up her hands and walked out. Friend walked out as well, very proud of herself for standing up straight with her shoulders back, being precise in her speech and telling the truth. (Dr. Peterson's Rule #1).
Back in my college days at a progressive women’s school, I was sanguine about friendship across political divides and fought for that. (I was tepidly liberal at the time, but in the process of constantly playing devil’s advocate and then finally meeting principled conservatives my own age, I realized I was actually conservative.) This was in the early to mid-2000s.
Nowadays, it’s not at all that I don’t believe in or want those friendships, and but that they’re so difficult to maintain. Somehow in the past decade and a half, I stopped talking about my political beliefs, especially where they most directly touch my Christian and moral beliefs, even with fairly close family; and I don’t know how much of that is cowardice and how much is a deep weariness and pessimism that the friendship would survive conversations about how deep our differing presuppositions run. I find this is especially true with Christian friends and family who have gone the opposite way (i.e. stayed conservative into early adulthood and only later took a pronounced leftward turn). There’s still relationship, for sure, but a tacit recognition on both sides that we just don’t talk about the deeper things; that things could quickly become explosive if we tried. So how genuine a relationship can that even be? It’s an ongoing burden.
Oh man, this is so true.
You are kind and compassionate. Rare qualities now.
What a sweet thing to say! Thank you.
A great piece. I am re-watching Family Ties with my teenage son and he loves it. So many times I find myself commenting to him about "then versus now" US politics. The 2021 interview you linked was interesting in that it assumes that when Alex (ie anyone) makes a decision with their heart they will surely see things "my/our" way. The Miles Smith quote was also relevant. Obama surely hasn't contributed to the divide right? I mean if everyone just did it his way there would be no divide....simple.