Hi Esther. Thank you for these thoughtful essays! It seems to me that the 'sin' you are describing is not in the sexual act per se, but in the culture of promiscuity surrounding it. Would you agree with that characterization? I would say that the attitudes towards sex that you described in the previous essay for example, while they might be especially prevalent among gay men, certainly have their straight counterparts (the narcissistic approach to sex you find in Updike for example doesn't seem so different from the memoirs you quote). On the other hand, there are gay men in committed monogamous relationships, to whom the tendencies you describe do not seem to apply. So I'm left wondering: would you say there is a fundamental difference still?

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